It was highly likely that, had she been back in the dorms and able to curl up against Zack, Ino would not have gone through with her hastily tossed together plan for dealing with her fears about Jenova.
She wasn’t sure, yet, if it was fortunate or unfortunate that they were in the cabins. After mulling over her options—revisiting them thanks to Master Skywalker agreeing with her gut feeling of ‘that should be dealt with’—for a few hours, then a few hours of restless sleep, Ino was up bright and early.
And booking a portal to Midgar. For one.
As she confirmed the time Ino wondered, a bit guiltily, if she ought to tell Zack. She be pissed off if someone went to herworld without her to deal with an issue. Wrinkling her nose as she hung up on the Portalocity operator, Ino decided that it didn’t really matter. If he was mad, she’d deal with it.
But dealing with something else came first. Fear. Ino studied what clothing she’d brought from her room to the cabins, careful to stay quiet so that no one would wake up, and eventually decided on an outfit that was very very pink. The top was a bit frilly, even. She eyed the ribbon on the sleeves before shrugging. Fighting was possible in it—that was what mattered the most. And wearing the bright colour made her smile slightly. Tossing her hair back in a ponytail, she made certain she had her potions and ethers before wriggling on her armlet and taking off for the weapons locker.
Less than fifteen minutes later she was standing a ways outside Midgar and staring at it with wide eyes. Attempting to convince herself to move towards it. Yes, she could spend her weekend wandering around the wastelands if she was very very careful and ran the hell away from most of the monsters that she didn't recognize but… that would rather defeat the purpose.
So. That left Ino to convince herself that, yes, moving forward was a good idea. Reno had told her that nothing really bad was going to happen for a while longer—her guess was years, but she couldn't be certain of that—which meant, logically, that if she went into the city nothing would happen to her. Even if Jenova was there. (Or so she thought.)
Logic didn't give much of a damn for her feelings though and Ino's feelings were of the opinion that going anywhere ever near Jenova was the stupidest thing ever. She was going to do it anyway. One step forward. And then another. Her jaw set and eyes narrowed in irritation with herself. Coward, coward, coward—if she was this scared, then how would she manage to do anything to help?
Fear, she decided, sucked. It made her stomach twist, her limps shake, and her she had to work to keep her breathing steady. It was easier when she pretended, that this was a mission. Scared or not, on a mission you had to keep moving and get it done.
The slums were much the same as she'd remembered them--this time in the early morning rather than at night but it was very much... people waking up, getting about their lives. Monsters here and there that she gleefully took on. Fighting monsters means she didn't have to think. Meant she didn't have to care. Meant all she had to do was focus on fighting and not on the fact that she knew exactly where she really had to go and didn't want to.
For a few hours, it was more than enough that she was in the slums. Still breathing. Fighting. And doing some exploring without Zack. Nimble feet, nimble hands, ducking in and out of the worst places in town. She spent a while in Wall Market, but more time looking for Hell Houses. (Ino's priorities lay with distraction and monsters were a better one at the moment than shopping.)
Her skin felt tight, her shoulders stiff. She'd picked up a few small tears in her clothing during her fights, but she was still moving—potions to take care of any injury—and more importantly, still winning.
The day crawled on and by four in the afternoon, she'd made it above the plate. Tracking down food, first, Ino then went about more exploring. If she kept moving then nothing could get her—never mind that nothing seemed to be after her in the first place—and Ino was certain that if she sat still for long that she'd be sick. The fear wasn't going away. If anything it got stronger.
But she could move through it. That counted as an accomplishment and a little more confident, a little more reckless, Ino flung herself into the life of Midgar and tried to convince herself that nothing was going to hurt her and that Jenova wasn't lurking in wait for her.
Hours flew past. Day-to-evening-to-night and Ino was tired and still moving and still fighting and there were periods now where she was lonely because only her fear kept her company and this wasn't her home, any of them, and what Ino really wanted was a hug.
More monsters sufficed. For hours longer. A break here and there to wander into a place to get something to drink and nibble on, though she wasn't hungry, and then the rest of her time spent dealing with her fear by fighting anything she found. And winning. Sometimes barely, a few she'd had to run away from when they'd ganged up on her, but there were enough victories to make her happy.
And enough exhaustion to make her a bit giddy with reckless enthusiasm that was far more comfortable, in her opinion, than the fear that dragged at her mind, her concentration, her arms and legs, if she let herself think.
So Ino didn't bother to think, gave herself permission to just enjoy the exhilaration that came from defying, in her mind, her own fears.
That was why, when she wound up calling Zack, Ino was laughing. Because Ino was stupidly tired and it was either laugh or cry and hilarity was better than giving up and admitting that she was still scared.
It was half past two Saturday morning.
[NFB due to distance. World hopping done with permission. For that boy she's calling.]
She wasn’t sure, yet, if it was fortunate or unfortunate that they were in the cabins. After mulling over her options—revisiting them thanks to Master Skywalker agreeing with her gut feeling of ‘that should be dealt with’—for a few hours, then a few hours of restless sleep, Ino was up bright and early.
And booking a portal to Midgar. For one.
As she confirmed the time Ino wondered, a bit guiltily, if she ought to tell Zack. She be pissed off if someone went to herworld without her to deal with an issue. Wrinkling her nose as she hung up on the Portalocity operator, Ino decided that it didn’t really matter. If he was mad, she’d deal with it.
But dealing with something else came first. Fear. Ino studied what clothing she’d brought from her room to the cabins, careful to stay quiet so that no one would wake up, and eventually decided on an outfit that was very very pink. The top was a bit frilly, even. She eyed the ribbon on the sleeves before shrugging. Fighting was possible in it—that was what mattered the most. And wearing the bright colour made her smile slightly. Tossing her hair back in a ponytail, she made certain she had her potions and ethers before wriggling on her armlet and taking off for the weapons locker.
Less than fifteen minutes later she was standing a ways outside Midgar and staring at it with wide eyes. Attempting to convince herself to move towards it. Yes, she could spend her weekend wandering around the wastelands if she was very very careful and ran the hell away from most of the monsters that she didn't recognize but… that would rather defeat the purpose.
So. That left Ino to convince herself that, yes, moving forward was a good idea. Reno had told her that nothing really bad was going to happen for a while longer—her guess was years, but she couldn't be certain of that—which meant, logically, that if she went into the city nothing would happen to her. Even if Jenova was there. (Or so she thought.)
Logic didn't give much of a damn for her feelings though and Ino's feelings were of the opinion that going anywhere ever near Jenova was the stupidest thing ever. She was going to do it anyway. One step forward. And then another. Her jaw set and eyes narrowed in irritation with herself. Coward, coward, coward—if she was this scared, then how would she manage to do anything to help?
Fear, she decided, sucked. It made her stomach twist, her limps shake, and her she had to work to keep her breathing steady. It was easier when she pretended, that this was a mission. Scared or not, on a mission you had to keep moving and get it done.
The slums were much the same as she'd remembered them--this time in the early morning rather than at night but it was very much... people waking up, getting about their lives. Monsters here and there that she gleefully took on. Fighting monsters means she didn't have to think. Meant she didn't have to care. Meant all she had to do was focus on fighting and not on the fact that she knew exactly where she really had to go and didn't want to.
For a few hours, it was more than enough that she was in the slums. Still breathing. Fighting. And doing some exploring without Zack. Nimble feet, nimble hands, ducking in and out of the worst places in town. She spent a while in Wall Market, but more time looking for Hell Houses. (Ino's priorities lay with distraction and monsters were a better one at the moment than shopping.)
Her skin felt tight, her shoulders stiff. She'd picked up a few small tears in her clothing during her fights, but she was still moving—potions to take care of any injury—and more importantly, still winning.
The day crawled on and by four in the afternoon, she'd made it above the plate. Tracking down food, first, Ino then went about more exploring. If she kept moving then nothing could get her—never mind that nothing seemed to be after her in the first place—and Ino was certain that if she sat still for long that she'd be sick. The fear wasn't going away. If anything it got stronger.
But she could move through it. That counted as an accomplishment and a little more confident, a little more reckless, Ino flung herself into the life of Midgar and tried to convince herself that nothing was going to hurt her and that Jenova wasn't lurking in wait for her.
Hours flew past. Day-to-evening-to-night and Ino was tired and still moving and still fighting and there were periods now where she was lonely because only her fear kept her company and this wasn't her home, any of them, and what Ino really wanted was a hug.
More monsters sufficed. For hours longer. A break here and there to wander into a place to get something to drink and nibble on, though she wasn't hungry, and then the rest of her time spent dealing with her fear by fighting anything she found. And winning. Sometimes barely, a few she'd had to run away from when they'd ganged up on her, but there were enough victories to make her happy.
And enough exhaustion to make her a bit giddy with reckless enthusiasm that was far more comfortable, in her opinion, than the fear that dragged at her mind, her concentration, her arms and legs, if she let herself think.
So Ino didn't bother to think, gave herself permission to just enjoy the exhilaration that came from defying, in her mind, her own fears.
That was why, when she wound up calling Zack, Ino was laughing. Because Ino was stupidly tired and it was either laugh or cry and hilarity was better than giving up and admitting that she was still scared.
It was half past two Saturday morning.
[NFB due to distance. World hopping done with permission. For that boy she's calling.]
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 12:36 am (UTC)"Mooorning!" And that sounded like an Ino who really ought to be sleeping but was giggling into her phone instead. Weren't you thrilled, Zack? "Were you sleeping?"
Yes, yes he had been, Ino.
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Date: 2010-06-05 01:15 am (UTC)"No?" It was a lie, but it was a lie for the sake of talking to Ino on the phone, and so what harm was there in it, right? "What's up?"
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Date: 2010-06-05 01:23 am (UTC)"I just wanted to call you," she confessed with a shrug he couldn't see. "No reasons for me!"
Except, of course, that she had called him for a reason but that meant thinking about her reasons and it was easier to just be... ridiculous.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 01:26 am (UTC)Zack was still zoning out on the clock, yes. That was weird, even for Ino.
"How are you still awake right now?"
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Date: 2010-06-05 01:31 am (UTC)"I can't fall asleep," she said earnestly. Toootally reasonably. "A Hell House might eat me."
Ino considered adding why that was bad, but figured he'd get it anyway.
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:16 am (UTC)"Ino... Why are you in Midgar?"
...
"Are you okay?"
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:22 am (UTC)Because potions were shiny. Also, way to not answer his questions, Ino.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 02:25 am (UTC)"Where in Midgar are you? I think I can get there pretty quick, if I call Portalocity right away."
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:33 am (UTC)Oh, so now it mattered?
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 02:38 am (UTC)And eventually, what? Brilliant plans were not her strong point?
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:42 am (UTC)"I'll be there," he replied. "Because the last thing you need is to fall asleep in front of a Hell House or worse, Ino."
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:45 am (UTC)Not in her sleep though. That was her vague attempt at reassuring him she was okay, yes.
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:46 am (UTC)And sometimes you just maybe happened to not be in the mood.
"I don't think you told me where you are." A pause. "Can you get to the fountain?"
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:48 am (UTC)She glanced around and shrugged.
"Yeees?"
Because getting there was, like, the easiest place to find. Head towards the giant building!
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 02:56 am (UTC)It was that way! She was going to head that way.
And hang up on him by accident, oops?
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:57 am (UTC)Yeah, he'd catch up. Oh, Ino.
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:03 am (UTC)Either way, when she got to the fountain she'd also found a hot chocolate and was humming to herself as she eyed the water.
Water would totally keep her awake, wouldn't it? She would have to consider that very thoughtfully. And poke at the water, which was cold.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 09:32 am (UTC)Yeah.
"Morning," he said, offering her a light smile as he made his way into the square. One thing could be said for upper-plate Midgar at night, at least. It was always awake. Especially so close to Loveless Avenue.
It was without another word that he sat down beside her on the edge of the fountain and pulled her into a hug.
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Date: 2010-06-05 02:48 pm (UTC)Ino blinked up at him. "You're here!"
Yes, yes he was.
"See?" she added, holding out an arm for inspection. "I'm not hurt."
She was a bit dirty, rather exhausted, and her clothing had a few tears in it. But she really wasn't physically hurt, no.
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 03:07 pm (UTC)"Not tired," she insisted. "And--since sixish?"
Sixish yesterday morning, please note. Ino just offered him a smile. It was all fine!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 03:35 pm (UTC)Look, it was wishful thinking.
"You kind of look like you've been run over by a bus. Are you sure you don't want sleep right now?"
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Date: 2010-06-05 03:41 pm (UTC)At this point, really, she would if she relaxed.
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