Midgar, Gaia -- Friday Morning through to Crazy O'Clock Saturday Morning

[intraspective]

It was highly likely that, had she been back in the dorms and able to curl up against Zack, Ino would not have gone through with her hastily tossed together plan for dealing with her fears about Jenova.

She wasn’t sure, yet, if it was fortunate or unfortunate that they were in the cabins. After mulling over her options—revisiting them thanks to Master Skywalker agreeing with her gut feeling of ‘that should be dealt with’—for a few hours, then a few hours of restless sleep, Ino was up bright and early.

And booking a portal to Midgar. For one.

As she confirmed the time Ino wondered, a bit guiltily, if she ought to tell Zack. She be pissed off if someone went to herworld without her to deal with an issue. Wrinkling her nose as she hung up on the Portalocity operator, Ino decided that it didn’t really matter. If he was mad, she’d deal with it.

But dealing with something else came first. Fear. Ino studied what clothing she’d brought from her room to the cabins, careful to stay quiet so that no one would wake up, and eventually decided on an outfit that was very very pink. The top was a bit frilly, even. She eyed the ribbon on the sleeves before shrugging. Fighting was possible in it—that was what mattered the most. And wearing the bright colour made her smile slightly. Tossing her hair back in a ponytail, she made certain she had her potions and ethers before wriggling on her armlet and taking off for the weapons locker.

Less than fifteen minutes later she was standing a ways outside Midgar and staring at it with wide eyes. Attempting to convince herself to move towards it. Yes, she could spend her weekend wandering around the wastelands if she was very very careful and ran the hell away from most of the monsters that she didn't recognize but… that would rather defeat the purpose.

So. That left Ino to convince herself that, yes, moving forward was a good idea. Reno had told her that nothing really bad was going to happen for a while longer—her guess was years, but she couldn't be certain of that—which meant, logically, that if she went into the city nothing would happen to her. Even if Jenova was there. (Or so she thought.)

Logic didn't give much of a damn for her feelings though and Ino's feelings were of the opinion that going anywhere ever near Jenova was the stupidest thing ever. She was going to do it anyway. One step forward. And then another. Her jaw set and eyes narrowed in irritation with herself. Coward, coward, coward—if she was this scared, then how would she manage to do anything to help?

Fear, she decided, sucked. It made her stomach twist, her limps shake, and her she had to work to keep her breathing steady. It was easier when she pretended, that this was a mission. Scared or not, on a mission you had to keep moving and get it done.

The slums were much the same as she'd remembered them--this time in the early morning rather than at night but it was very much... people waking up, getting about their lives. Monsters here and there that she gleefully took on. Fighting monsters means she didn't have to think. Meant she didn't have to care. Meant all she had to do was focus on fighting and not on the fact that she knew exactly where she really had to go and didn't want to.

For a few hours, it was more than enough that she was in the slums. Still breathing. Fighting. And doing some exploring without Zack. Nimble feet, nimble hands, ducking in and out of the worst places in town. She spent a while in Wall Market, but more time looking for Hell Houses. (Ino's priorities lay with distraction and monsters were a better one at the moment than shopping.)

Her skin felt tight, her shoulders stiff. She'd picked up a few small tears in her clothing during her fights, but she was still moving—potions to take care of any injury—and more importantly, still winning.

The day crawled on and by four in the afternoon, she'd made it above the plate. Tracking down food, first, Ino then went about more exploring. If she kept moving then nothing could get her—never mind that nothing seemed to be after her in the first place—and Ino was certain that if she sat still for long that she'd be sick. The fear wasn't going away. If anything it got stronger.

But she could move through it. That counted as an accomplishment and a little more confident, a little more reckless, Ino flung herself into the life of Midgar and tried to convince herself that nothing was going to hurt her and that Jenova wasn't lurking in wait for her.

Hours flew past. Day-to-evening-to-night and Ino was tired and still moving and still fighting and there were periods now where she was lonely because only her fear kept her company and this wasn't her home, any of them, and what Ino really wanted was a hug.

More monsters sufficed. For hours longer. A break here and there to wander into a place to get something to drink and nibble on, though she wasn't hungry, and then the rest of her time spent dealing with her fear by fighting anything she found. And winning. Sometimes barely, a few she'd had to run away from when they'd ganged up on her, but there were enough victories to make her happy.

And enough exhaustion to make her a bit giddy with reckless enthusiasm that was far more comfortable, in her opinion, than the fear that dragged at her mind, her concentration, her arms and legs, if she let herself think.

So Ino didn't bother to think, gave herself permission to just enjoy the exhilaration that came from defying, in her mind, her own fears.

That was why, when she wound up calling Zack, Ino was laughing. Because Ino was stupidly tired and it was either laugh or cry and hilarity was better than giving up and admitting that she was still scared.

It was half past two Saturday morning.

[NFB due to distance. World hopping done with permission. For that boy she's calling.]

Comments

[intraspective]

"Egg rolls," she said, flicking her eyes up to his. "They've vegetarian stirfry stuff if you want?"

Ino noticed these things just for him. Though anything heavy didn't sound that great to her right now, so maybe she'd stick with something light.

[puppy_fair]

"That sounds good," Zack agreed, settling back a little and smiling. "What we don't eat here, we can take back to my place for lunch, later."

It was like thinking ahead! In that lazy sort of 'I won't have to pretend I can cook tomorrow' way of his.

[intraspective]

She wrinkled her nose at him and when the waiter came back rattled off their orders.

Ino didn't really order that much for herself but, hey, egg rolls were more than she'd eaten for the rest of the day, so that was a good thing, right?

"You're just lazy," she informed him, blinking at her glass of water.

[puppy_fair]

"Only when it comes to food," Zack shot back, nearly fumbling the soy sauce, grimacing, and then setting the bottle back down where it belonged.

... Only to reach for the fish sauce, instead.

"I'm usually pretty good for other stuff, though. Right?"

[intraspective]

"I don't know," she said mildly. "Where are your socks lately?"

[puppy_fair]

Zack contemplated that for all of about five seconds. That was some serious thought he was giving those socks, right there.

"Not on my feet," he replied, shrugging. "I couldn't find them in the dark."

Which was not helping his case at all, no.

[intraspective]

"There you go," she said, eyeing him. "I'm right."

[puppy_fair]

"Yeah," Zack laughed, "about my socks."

And that was about that. The food wasn't too bad, though there wasn't really much eaten between the two of them, but that meant there were plenty of leftovers for later.

And the trip back to the ShinRa building was... Well, it had been a very sleepy one, but they'd made it. And Zack was even going to hold his door open for her as they made their way in.

"Still okay?"

[intraspective]

No, she wasn't okay. She was tense and unhappy and so tired things were going a bit soft around the edges.

Ino levelled a look in his direction as she entered his room and just sort of... hovered there. She was dirty. Sitting on his bed seemed stupid.

"I'm okay," she said, which was a lie and sounded obvious even to her.

[puppy_fair]

... Okay. She was lingering, there. Which meant that Zack was going to kind of offer her a sideways frown, plunk the leftovers on his nightstand, and then make his way over and steer her toward the bed.

It was a bed. Beds could be cleaned. Zack had seriously slept in far worse.

"Just tired," he noted. And tense. "It's this building that has you scared, isn't it?"

The door was closed, now. He could go there.

[intraspective]

She was going to just kind of... stare. At him, at the floor. The walls of his room were exactly the same as the last time.

Ino wound up studying his eyes. She did like his eyes. "Yeah," she admitted quietly, leaning into him.

[puppy_fair]

The eyes, at least, were totally because of the mako. Jenova-influenced eyes tended to be... scarier.

Lots scarier.

"Her?" To the bed, now. And sitting. See? Wasn't this better than wobbling all around town?

[intraspective]

She was going to sit in his lap if that was alright?

Fear knotted her stomach and at this rate her shoulders were never going to be the same after being so tense for so long. "Who else?"

Really, nothing else had ever scared her this bad.

[puppy_fair]

And he was going to pull her into said lap, and nod a little, and bury his face in her hair.

"You suppose she's here, in this building?" He bit his lip for a moment, and then shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. There are reactors all around The Planet. Keeping her here would be too... obvious, don't you think?"

Well, that, and he'd been all over the place on the Science Department floors just back in April, and hadn't seen anything like that then.

[intraspective]

But Elena had said...

"Maybe," she said hesitantly, not so much with the believing of it. "But I... know she's here at some point..."

[puppy_fair]

"I didn't see her," Zack said, a moment later. "Back in April, I mean. After I got my promotion. I had to protect a man from the Science Department, and I was all over those floors on patrol, and..."

He shrugged. Maybe it just meant that he'd missed her. But he'd been given clearance for every inch of the building, then. He couldn't imagine them hiding her so thoroughly.

"Some point isn't necessarily right now, right?"

[intraspective]

"No," she had to admit that. "But it's not... stupid to be scared now either."

Ino didn't think so.

[puppy_fair]

Zack chewed his lip for a moment, and the nodded and wriggled backward, so that he had his back to the headboard. He'd taken her along for the ride, yes. This just seemed like a better way to sit when talking about... Well.

"I'm scared, too," he admitted. "I mean, it would be stupid not to be. I just... I have to reason my way back here, every time. I've heard about Midgar. I mean, a bit about Midgar. And... I think she might have something to do with it." And now he was rambling. "People just throw her name around, here, like it's nothing. The Science Department, other members of SOLDIER. Here, people treat it like just another word."

Hollander had held his arms in the air. 'You are perfection,' he had said, about Angeal. Because Angeal was so much like Jenova. He could do this, and that, and it had made him into a monster.

That was what perfection meant, around here. A perfect monster.

[intraspective]

She rested her head, herself, against him and listened to him ramble. It was getting harder to keep track of the words.

"She does," Ino said sleepily, her control over her thoughts, her words slipping. "And she shouldn't be treated like normal here."

[puppy_fair]

"She shouldn't," Zack sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and just trying to content himself to be close to Ino. Close was safe. They were both safe. "But people don't know any better. I think Hojo might know what she really is, but I don't think anyone understands how dangerous she is."

All of Midgar. And he couldn't stop it.

But he knew that it was Jenova, now. So... maybe. Maybe?

[intraspective]

"I want to stop her," Ino told him, shifting so she could curl closer to him. "That's why I couldn't stay away and just be scared."

[puppy_fair]

"I want to help," he replied, settling back a little more, so that he was nearly laying down. "She... she's cost me a lot of people already. I don't want to give her the chance to take any more."

[intraspective]

And she was nearly laying down, as she was curled up against him and going nowhere fast.

"We'll figure it out," Ino assured him. "And she can't take me."

Did she believe that? A bit.

[puppy_fair]

"Well, yeah," Zack replied. "You don't have... I mean. You know."

Her cells. They were in him. They were in all of SOLDIER.

SOLDIER. Monster. Monster. SOLDIER. Yeah.

"You're pretty safe from that."

[intraspective]

That called for a twist and wriggle so she could wrap her arms around him the best she could.

"She can't take you either."