Midgar, Gaia -- Friday Morning through to Crazy O'Clock Saturday Morning

[intraspective]

It was highly likely that, had she been back in the dorms and able to curl up against Zack, Ino would not have gone through with her hastily tossed together plan for dealing with her fears about Jenova.

She wasn’t sure, yet, if it was fortunate or unfortunate that they were in the cabins. After mulling over her options—revisiting them thanks to Master Skywalker agreeing with her gut feeling of ‘that should be dealt with’—for a few hours, then a few hours of restless sleep, Ino was up bright and early.

And booking a portal to Midgar. For one.

As she confirmed the time Ino wondered, a bit guiltily, if she ought to tell Zack. She be pissed off if someone went to herworld without her to deal with an issue. Wrinkling her nose as she hung up on the Portalocity operator, Ino decided that it didn’t really matter. If he was mad, she’d deal with it.

But dealing with something else came first. Fear. Ino studied what clothing she’d brought from her room to the cabins, careful to stay quiet so that no one would wake up, and eventually decided on an outfit that was very very pink. The top was a bit frilly, even. She eyed the ribbon on the sleeves before shrugging. Fighting was possible in it—that was what mattered the most. And wearing the bright colour made her smile slightly. Tossing her hair back in a ponytail, she made certain she had her potions and ethers before wriggling on her armlet and taking off for the weapons locker.

Less than fifteen minutes later she was standing a ways outside Midgar and staring at it with wide eyes. Attempting to convince herself to move towards it. Yes, she could spend her weekend wandering around the wastelands if she was very very careful and ran the hell away from most of the monsters that she didn't recognize but… that would rather defeat the purpose.

So. That left Ino to convince herself that, yes, moving forward was a good idea. Reno had told her that nothing really bad was going to happen for a while longer—her guess was years, but she couldn't be certain of that—which meant, logically, that if she went into the city nothing would happen to her. Even if Jenova was there. (Or so she thought.)

Logic didn't give much of a damn for her feelings though and Ino's feelings were of the opinion that going anywhere ever near Jenova was the stupidest thing ever. She was going to do it anyway. One step forward. And then another. Her jaw set and eyes narrowed in irritation with herself. Coward, coward, coward—if she was this scared, then how would she manage to do anything to help?

Fear, she decided, sucked. It made her stomach twist, her limps shake, and her she had to work to keep her breathing steady. It was easier when she pretended, that this was a mission. Scared or not, on a mission you had to keep moving and get it done.

The slums were much the same as she'd remembered them--this time in the early morning rather than at night but it was very much... people waking up, getting about their lives. Monsters here and there that she gleefully took on. Fighting monsters means she didn't have to think. Meant she didn't have to care. Meant all she had to do was focus on fighting and not on the fact that she knew exactly where she really had to go and didn't want to.

For a few hours, it was more than enough that she was in the slums. Still breathing. Fighting. And doing some exploring without Zack. Nimble feet, nimble hands, ducking in and out of the worst places in town. She spent a while in Wall Market, but more time looking for Hell Houses. (Ino's priorities lay with distraction and monsters were a better one at the moment than shopping.)

Her skin felt tight, her shoulders stiff. She'd picked up a few small tears in her clothing during her fights, but she was still moving—potions to take care of any injury—and more importantly, still winning.

The day crawled on and by four in the afternoon, she'd made it above the plate. Tracking down food, first, Ino then went about more exploring. If she kept moving then nothing could get her—never mind that nothing seemed to be after her in the first place—and Ino was certain that if she sat still for long that she'd be sick. The fear wasn't going away. If anything it got stronger.

But she could move through it. That counted as an accomplishment and a little more confident, a little more reckless, Ino flung herself into the life of Midgar and tried to convince herself that nothing was going to hurt her and that Jenova wasn't lurking in wait for her.

Hours flew past. Day-to-evening-to-night and Ino was tired and still moving and still fighting and there were periods now where she was lonely because only her fear kept her company and this wasn't her home, any of them, and what Ino really wanted was a hug.

More monsters sufficed. For hours longer. A break here and there to wander into a place to get something to drink and nibble on, though she wasn't hungry, and then the rest of her time spent dealing with her fear by fighting anything she found. And winning. Sometimes barely, a few she'd had to run away from when they'd ganged up on her, but there were enough victories to make her happy.

And enough exhaustion to make her a bit giddy with reckless enthusiasm that was far more comfortable, in her opinion, than the fear that dragged at her mind, her concentration, her arms and legs, if she let herself think.

So Ino didn't bother to think, gave herself permission to just enjoy the exhilaration that came from defying, in her mind, her own fears.

That was why, when she wound up calling Zack, Ino was laughing. Because Ino was stupidly tired and it was either laugh or cry and hilarity was better than giving up and admitting that she was still scared.

It was half past two Saturday morning.

[NFB due to distance. World hopping done with permission. For that boy she's calling.]

Comments

[puppy_fair]

Sector 8 was definitely not the place to be if you didn't want to chance being overheard by sneaky individuals in black suits, this was true. Zack nodded a little, and then he glanced toward Loveless Ave.

"Want to do something, then? Kunsel says there are late-night showings of Loveless all this month, or we could hit up a coffee shop, or actually just get something to eat..."

He wasn't going to suggest they go hunting monsters. She looked too tired to hunt monsters. It scared him a little.

[intraspective]

"I could maybe eat," she said thoughtfully. "I didn't much, when I was alone."

Because fear had a way of tying her stomach up and making her nauseous if she ate.

"You're here though, so it might be different." Zack was the safest place she knew of.

[puppy_fair]

Zack wasn't going to say it out loud, but it was kind of nice, knowing that his presence made some sort of difference.

"Come on," he said, reaching for her hand and pulling himself to his feet. "There's got to be a place open all night for food somewhere around here. ShinRa never sleeps, after all."

... That statement was far more creepy than Zack was even vaguely aware of.

[intraspective]

Ino clung to his hand, not that she'd admit it, and sipped at her hot chocolate. It was warm and she was tired so that was nice to have.

Not as nice as his presence though. "Maybe they should," Ino answered, not caring if that made much sense at all. "Then they'd feel better."

Or something. Maybe she ought to take her own advice?

[puppy_fair]

"Sleep is usually pretty good for people in general," Zack said, giving her a wry little smile. "I happen to be a fan of it, too."

Big fan. Zack slept pretty often! At least a few times a week, anyhow. He'd heard somewhere that it was good for him, or something.

"So, pick a direction," he offered. He suspected that if she did, it would be away from the ShinRa building. And he wouldn't say anything if it was, but at least it would kind of... cement his suspicions some.

[intraspective]

Really, it shouldn't be a surprise that she was going to tug him away from there, once she'd deliberated over her hot chocolate and tried to decide if she could remember where a place was that might still be open.

So: this way. It was as good as any other and definitely not towards the ShinRa building.

"Sorry," she said, casting a glance at him. "I woke you up."

[puppy_fair]

See? Zack had so called that.

"I don't mind," he replied, smiling faintly. "I don't have any classes or anything until Monday, and I was starting to miss this place."

Which meant that no, there still weren't any new missions waiting for him. What was up with that? Maybe he'd check in sometime over the weekend and demand something to do.

"How long were you looking at staying?"

[intraspective]

Until she stopped being afraid?

Ino gave that question a noncommittal shrug. "I've got clinic on Monday."

[puppy_fair]

Well, at least that was... something.

"And any idea where you're going to sleep, this weekend?"

Look, she had to sleep sooner or later. Right?

[intraspective]

"Hadn't really thought 'bout it," she admitted.

Planning was not a strong point in this situation, was Zack getting that?

"Figured maybe wander out of the city."

[puppy_fair]

"And sleep in the wastelands?"

Zack's tone probably indicated loud and clear just what his thoughts about that idea were.

"No, we'll get a place somewhere, if you don't want to crash in my room. You're not sleeping out there with the hounds and Cactuars and who knows what else."

[intraspective]

She squeezed his hand with her fingers and just smiled.

"I would've been fine." More likely she would've been eaten by some freaky monster while sleeping the sleep of the truly exhausted. "We can--" oh boy "--try your room? In a bit?"

Ino didn't like the idea at all, but that was more avoidance and she was trying not to.

[puppy_fair]

Zack turned a little smile toward her, and he nodded.

"And there, maybe we can talk?"

Because... Even though SOLDIER residence was in the middle of the ShinRa building itself, they actually did respect the privacy of their 1st Class members, and if Zack's door was shut, what they talked about would stay there, behind that door.

[intraspective]

Ino didn't want to talk but that was--well, even sleep deprived as she was, she was pretty sure that avoiding it wasn't an option for forever.

"Okay." Her feet were more interesting and so was the ground when compared to looking at him. "We can try that whole talking thing."

[puppy_fair]

"I probably have advice that's just as good as Master Skywalker's, when it comes to Midgar," Zack pointed out, turning a wry smile of his own somewhere toward the pea-soup smog above them. "I know this city pretty much inside-out, you know."

It came with the job.

[intraspective]

"Midgar's just the place," she said, leaning into him as she vaguely led them that-a-way. "I wanted to ask him about the emotion."

[puppy_fair]

"And he told you come here and exhaust yourself?" Zack unhooked his hand from hers so that he could sling it over her shoulder and pull her close while they walked. "Normally I trust his judgment, Ino, but this one time..."

[intraspective]

"He just said avoiding it was stupid," Ino clarified, glancing up at him then away to look at the area they were in. "Does that place look like it's open to you?"

There were lights on in the windows, at least. And a sign saying it was some sort of restaurant.

[puppy_fair]

Place with food and lights! That seemed to bode well enough for Zack, at least.

"It looks open enough," he decided, nodding and kind of attempting to steer off that way. "And at this point, all I really want is a coffee, I think. And some pancakes or something."

Zack. Drinking coffee. Fear.

[intraspective]

"You'll never get to sleep if you drink coffee," she said thoughtfully as he steered them towards the door.

Because that meant she'd get to drink coffee too, right?

[puppy_fair]

Nope. Zack was totally going to take her coffee! Yoink! Right out from her sleepy little nose.

"I already did get some sleep tonight," he pointed out. "So I'm doing better than you are, it looks like."

[intraspective]

"I don't need sleep," she insisted sulkily as she tugged the door open.

[puppy_fair]

"Ever?"

Zack gave her a significant little look, and then peered inside. The first thing he noticed was that, yes, this place totally smelled like food. The second thing he noticed was that it didn't seem like this place was apt to have much in the way of pancakes.

Did they even have pancakes in Wutaian restaurants?

[intraspective]

Not the pancakes he was thinking of, no?

"Not now," she muttered, walking in and wondering if they were supposed to seat themselves or whatever. It wasn't like Wutaian food would bother her for 'breakfast'.

[puppy_fair]

"Okay then," Zack replied, waiting for a moment before shrugging and making his way toward an open table. There wasn't a sign anywhere telling him to wait to be seated, at least that he could read, and so sitting down seemed like a good plan. Especially considering the time of day. "Obviously not while we're here. But maybe after we're done eating, we can head back to my place, right?"

Yes, he was fussing again. Yes, he was totally aware of that fact. No, right now he really didn't care.