Apartment Above the Boards, Monday Night

[intraspective]

It would be a damn dirty lie for Ino to even pretend she wasn't really into what was out of Taylor Swift's new album. She totally was. No shame.

"My castle crumbled overnight," she sang while scrubbing the floor. Cleaning the kitchen wasn't very glamourous but it was pretty important. "I brought a knife to a gun fight."

Ino was pretty sure she'd win in a case like that. She was also reasonably sure Taylor would too, if she cared enough.

Still, misdirection was a useful tool. She leaned back on her heels and stretched, smiling at where Silly watched her from the counter.

"And I know I make the same mistakes every time
Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right
I did one thing right
I'm laughing with my lover, making forts under covers
Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right
Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night
My baby's fit like a daydream
Walking with his head down
I'm the one he's walking to
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to…

She was possibly going to sing this song until the kitchen sparkled. It was catchy.

[For ze boy, please!]

Comments

[puppy_fair]

"So," he said, and hated repeating himself, but he had to. On this, he had to. "Do we talk about it, Ino? What we're doing... this... all of this... is just making it worse."

It was. He didn't think she could deny that. Not if she was paying half as much attention as he was.

"I think maybe it's too much for both of us."

[intraspective]

Ino was silent, weighing her options.

"So, what, we just give up?"

[puppy_fair]

Zack shook his head a little.

"What we've been doing already feels too much like giving up," he said, carefully. "I was thinking instead of us both pretending nothing is wrong... we... I don't know. We do something about it."

[intraspective]

She glanced at him now, carefully, eyes half-hidden behind her hair (it was doing it's damnedest to escape from the braid she'd stuffed it in).

"We... fix it?"

[puppy_fair]

"We have a couple of options," he replied, quietly. "We keep going, and it never gets better. It's been over a year, Ino... If it hasn't gotten better now, it never will. Not doing it this way. We give up, we... I don't know... cut our losses and get on with our lives. Or..." Deep breath. "Or we talk. About what we both need. Because I know I'm not the only one bleeding out right now. And we try to fix ourselves so that we can fix us."

[intraspective]

She flinched again.

At this point, it wasn't healthy, but she wasn't sure what she'd do if they just decided that... that was it, it was over. They were over. End of story.

"I...," It felt like pulling nails out of her chest to say it. "I'd rather talk than...."

She couldn't say it.

[puppy_fair]

"It's hard," Zack said softly. "Talking. I know. We've never been good at it, not really. But back before..." Before. She knew before what. "... We didn't need to talk. Things have changed since then, I guess."

[intraspective]

"You've gotten better at it," Ino said, not sure when that had happened. Not sure why. Not sure how to feel about it. Grateful, maybe.

[puppy_fair]

"I spent a lot of time talking during my time on the run," Zack admitted, shrugging his shoulders a little. "Kind of one-sided, but it kept us... kept me going."

Cloud hadn't been going. Cloud had been comatose. Zack knew that, but it was still hard to wrap his head around it.

[intraspective]

Cloud was going to get better, find a nice ninja person, and be happy, damn it.

"Yeah," she said, looking down. Ino took a breath. Talking, huh? "I... I only really talked a lot in Aerith's church. While you were gone."

Well, she'd talked a lot to everyone else, but she hadn't said much. If that made sense.

[puppy_fair]

Zack nodded faintly.

"Until I got out, I didn't do much talking at all. In my own head, maybe." He glanced up. "Maybe now I'm trying to make up for lost time."

Which didn't explain just how hard it was to talk in general, now that he was safe again. But it seemed like a nice thought all the same.

[intraspective]

It was a nice thought.

"There's a lot of lost time," she said softly.

[puppy_fair]

"Almost too much lost time," Zack agreed. And then he inhaled. Exhaled. Looked quietly at her for a minute before he said, "Damn it, Ino. Are we even the same people anymore?"

[intraspective]

Despite everything, her mouth curled in a slight smile.

"Sometimes yes," she said, "and sometimes no."

[puppy_fair]

Zack laughed softly at that, in spite of everything.

"I haven't decided if it's the yes moments that make the no moments harder, or if it's the other way around," he confessed.

[intraspective]

"The yes moments," she said, since that was where she'd fallen. "Because they're when things feel like nothing ever changed."

[puppy_fair]

That felt about right. Zack chewed on his lip for a moment.

"We don't have many of those anymore, do we?"

[intraspective]

Ino shook her head, one hand reaching up to pet Silly.

"I don't think we've been trying for them, though."

She hadn't been.

[puppy_fair]

And he wouldn't even know where to start.

"Easier that way," he said, softly. "But... I would like to be able to be me again. I'd like it even more if being me again wouldn't make us both hurt."

[intraspective]

She rubbed at one of her eyes. "That don't sound so bad," she admitted.

[puppy_fair]

"It won't be easy," Zack replied softly. "There's a lot that was broken along the way. I'm not entirely sure where to start."

[intraspective]

"I don't know either," she said, after a moment. "I ain't exactly well-kept myself."

[puppy_fair]

There was a lump in his throat again. Zack swallowed it away.

"Are we making it worse?" He shook his head quickly. "I mean, not by trying. We aren't making it worse by trying. But something about this isn't working. And the more it doesn't work, the harder it gets to think it'll ever get better."

[intraspective]

She picked at a non-existent fluff on her leg.

"I don't follow what you're saying," Ino said, frowning slightly. "Worse by... this? What... we were doing? Or... something else?"

[puppy_fair]

"I don't know," Zack said quietly after a moment. "Not this. This is the first time in ages I've felt like we're getting anywhere. But I've been spinning my wheels on my own, and spinning them harder here, and I don't... I don't even know what you've been going through, either." He swallowed. "I just mean, the two of us, here, for this long. Ignoring it when it's right there? That has to stop."