Room 504, Friday Evening

[intraspective]

After talking to Hurley, Ino was glad to wander back to the room she shared with Zack—that was still weird to her, that she couldn’t say it was just her room anymore—and collapse on her bed.

Yay. A week gone by and she hadn’t—been weird and issuey at people other than... well, Bod had gotten a bit, but he hadn’t seemed to care and Ino just... wasn’t going to push that. All right, fine, and so on. She was fine.

Repression was probably bad, yes. Ino closed her eyes briefly, then sat up and stared at the open door. She should shut it. But that seemed like far too much work and instead she fumbled for one of her notebooks. A pen.

If she was thinking, she didn’t have to think.

It made sense to her.

[Open door, open post.]

Comments

[intraspective]

"You," she said, pointing one finger at Triela. "Don't have free will. Love is--something that happens on it's own. Maybe choice was a bad word. But you've got... so many things in your head that you can't do that you can't manage without disobeying your Conditioning... you don't have free will, not in the same quantities that I have. Or Zack has. We can disobey orders if we want to. You can't. I would guess that that stifles your emotional development."

That was... blunt. Yes.

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

Triela thought about that. "That makes sense," she decided. "Part of the Conditioning involves a battery of emotional suppressants. Being calm makes for better operatives."

Well, it did when all you wanted was a weapon you could point at targets.

[intraspective]

"Only to a point," Ino said, smiling slightly. "The very best operatives are those who have the skills to manage it perfectly, a level head, and an inner fire of determination."

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"I'm quite motivated," Triela pointed out with the sort of flat tone that suggested she wasn't that motivated.

[intraspective]

She shook her head.

"Not out of just orders. I'd guard a place here, right, with what I've got." Ino's eyes cooled down to something close to her mission-gaze. "But I'd fight a lot harder to defend my home."

This wasn't her home.

"That sort of determination."

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"That's how I would fight to defend Hilshire," Triela pointed out. Even if defending her closest friends in Fandom wouldn't bring out that kind of intensity. Some, yes, but... not that.

[intraspective]

"Then that's a sort of love," she said, "and I won't pretend to be able to label it further. Drugs can't duplicate it 'cause it's a method of free will that goes deep. You can be drugged to the point where you'll die to defend someone and it's still not the same."

"Loving someone is more... fighting to live for someone, while protecting them. It's not about dying."

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

Triela smiled slightly. "I remember asking an inspector from Division One whether it really mattered whether it was because of the drugs that we feel the way we do about our handlers. Whatever the reason, we feel that way."

"He didn't have an answer."

And, deep down, she knew it wasn't just the drugs.

[intraspective]

Her smile was equally slight.

"Drugs can incline you a certain way," Ino conceded. "But eventually or not, the heart takes over."

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

Triela snorted in amusement. "I think that sounds a bit mushy to me..." Triela didn't really do mushy.

[intraspective]

"Is fire mushy?"

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

Another snort.

"No." She saw the point Ino was making there. And... it bore thinking on.

[intraspective]

Ino's smile was a bit genuinely amused this time.

"Romance is mushy," she said, "love isn't. Keep them separate."

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"I'll make a note," Triela promised. She even raised one hand to mime writing something down.

[intraspective]

"Good," she said impishly. "You might even get somewhere someday, Rookie."

Yeah, she went there.

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

Triela laughed softly and shook her head. "I doubt it. Even with your expert advice, I won't have enough time."

And for what may have been the first time, she actually regretted that. How odd.

[intraspective]

Ino frowned very slightly.

"How do you know?"

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"Cyborgs aren't built to last all that long," she shrugged. "I'm within about six months of the current operational record." She'd be surprised if she made it to graduation.

[intraspective]

Ino winced.

"That's a downside."

Yes. Yes it was.

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"It's not so bad." Triela smiled. "It's more than I would have had if the Agency hadn't taken me in. And... I've enjoyed my time here at school."

[intraspective]

"No past tenses," she said, looking plaintive. "Not right now."

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

Triela smiled again and nodded. "Fine. I'm enjoying my time here at school."

It was always odd to be reminded that... people would miss her.

[intraspective]

That, and Ino had just lost someone close to her. She didn't want to think of losing another.

"I'm glad you are," she said, smiling.

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"So does this mean I should come to you whenever I need advice about love from now on?" Triela asked in a teasing tone.

[intraspective]

"I do give out good advice," she said, preening. "Do you have a cruuush on someone?"