intraspective | A Secluded Area of the Preserve, Friday Early Morning

It didn’t seem to matter that, when they’d woken up in a tangled grouping of hands and legs and eyes and smiles that touched their eyes until they’d woken up enough that the smiles stopped hitting their eyes, that they hadn’t really spoken at all as they’d gotten dressed.

As they’d headed down into town to pick up something for breakfast—they hadn’t really even glanced at the kitchen in the cabin—they still kept mostly to their silence, though he held her hand as they walked.

Or she held his. Ino wasn’t really sure if that distinction mattered. Either way, neither of them was letting go of the other.

It wasn’t a conscious decision either to head out to the preserve once food in neat brown bags had been obtained.

It wasn’t conscious, but she wasn’t going to complain as they walked deeper and deeper into the trees. Ino liked trees, she liked Zack, and she liked breakfast. The silence was just something that had happened. They’d work it out.

She glanced sidelong and up at him, blue eyes worried. Her smile had faded into something more serious. Last night had been only part of it. He’d needed last night. (He’d scared her last night.)

Ino didn’t know what this would bring, out here, with breakfast and him. Just that it happening was the only thing that made sense to her. A weird and twisted snarl of emotions curled in her mind and Ino thought it couldn’t be anything as bad as how he felt. That wasn’t comforting.

[For the one whose hand she won’t let go of.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

puppy_fair

"Maybe if you don't know, it's because it just hasn't taken a shape that can be found, yet," Zack offered. Somewhere in all of that, he'd pulled an apple out of his paper bag.

Apples here were red. That was so weird.

"Just like fate, you know? You might think you see the way everything is or isn't set out, but in the end, whatever you get is what you're going to take out of it yourself."

From:

intraspective

She was not going to let those tears fall. Her muffin wasn't going to get eaten, though, as it was being shredded to tiny pieces and then ignored.

"I ain't never had to do that before," Ino replied, studying the mess she'd made of her muffin. Weren't you not supposed to play with your food? "Always had a--place."

From:

puppy_fair

"I..." Zack chewed at the inside of his cheek for a moment, and then set his apple down. He wasn't going to be eating it, anyhow. Not any time soon.

And then he was scooting over so that he could wrap his arm around her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Ino."

He couldn't make a place for her. That was something that she had to do for herself, or else she'd never feel as though she'd earned it. But even he'd felt empty when he finally earned the black uniform that he'd coveted for so long. So maybe there was just more to having a place than it sounded like, at first.

From:

intraspective

She leaned into him and closed her eyes.

"Ain't for you to be sorry," Ino murmured, abandoning the remnants of her muffin on the ground in favour of curling her hands up against her sides.

"Wasn't--wasn't somethin' I was expectin', you know? Not havin' a place. Always had and always--thought I would."

From:

puppy_fair

He nodded a little, pulling her slightly closer. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he caught himself wondering if maybe that was part of it all for him, too. Maybe the fact that SOLDIER didn't seem to want him so soon after showing him how much they appreciated him with a new rank was eating away at him as much as the rest of it was.

Things to dwell upon later.

"It's not really something that anybody can expect," he said softly. "Usually, anyhow. But... people find place for themselves while they're here, too, right?"

From:

intraspective

She hoped he didn't mind but Ino was going to take that 'being pulled closer' and wriggle into his lap sideways so that her legs draped over on of his legs and she could rest her head against him.

"That's true," Ino admitted. "But there's not much time, is there? What if I don't know, this time next year?"

One more year. That's all they had left.

From:

puppy_fair

"A lot can happen in a year," Zack pointed out, an actual little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, now. "Can't it?"

From hyperactive 2nd Class with not a care in the world to... Well.

Yeah. A lot could happen in a year.

"But if you don't know by then, that's when you'll need to make a choice." He curled in close and buried his face in her hair. "I'll be there to help you make it, if you need me."

From:

intraspective

"You're my favourite place to be," she murmured, with a sigh that was both relaxed and a bit distressed. "But I need--more than that. Can't live just on this, you know?"

Love was fair wonderful, but it didn't make a life entirely.

"A lot can change," Ino admitted. "But I'm so scared of it changing."

From:

puppy_fair

"If it never changed, you'd still think I was just weird," Zack pointed out, fondly.

Well, it was true!

From:

intraspective

She flushed.

"You were weird," she insisted. "But you're also awesome and now I know that."

Ino sighed.

"What should we do?"

From:

puppy_fair

"I guess for now... we just take it one day at a time," Zack replied, sighing a little and melting forward against her. "And we keep our eyes open for... For anything."

Anything and everything. You never did know when something could come in useful, right?

From:

intraspective

Ino moved her head, very slightly, in a sort of nod.

"How--how are you feeling?" she asked, almost tentatively.

From:

puppy_fair

"Like..." Zack tilted his head back thoughtfully, and then he gave a soft chuckle. "Like I still have no idea what's coming or going," he admitted. "But I guess that's going to have to be something to deal with, huh?"

From:

intraspective

She craned her neck to glance up at him.

"We'll support each other, yeah?"

Could they, at this point, really do anything else?

From:

puppy_fair

"Well, of course." And if she was looking up at him, then he was going to smile back down at her. Not just a reflex, not just a face he wore. This one was something warmer.

"I didn't think anything else was even an option."

From:

intraspective

She studied that smile and had to offer one back, though it was tiny. Real, though, and that mattered.

"I like hearin' it out loud."

From:

puppy_fair

"Then I guess it's something I'm going to have to make a point to say more often," Zack decided. And then he was leaning in some more, sighing and running his fingers up and down over her back. "It's something I like to hear, too."

Not being alone. It was so, so stupidly important.

Zack never did fare well alone.

From:

intraspective

She was never going to move at this rate as she sighed and snuggled into him.

"I'm not very good at that sort of thing," Ino said guiltily. "I'm sorry. I guess that don't help."

From:

puppy_fair

"You just did say it," Zack pointed out, shaking his head a bit. "I think that counts as good enough."

From:

intraspective

She shook her head in muted disagreement.

"I ain't nowhere near as open as you are 'bout--that sort of thing. So I just said it, that ain't always good enough is it? Not after you--not after... last night."

From:

puppy_fair

"I'll be fine," Zack replied, more a knee-jerk response than anything that actually meant... anything.

He frowned as he realized that, and then looked down toward the ground again. No, he didn't know that. It wasn't fair to just say that and leave it sit.

"I mean... You say it when it matters, Ino."

From:

intraspective

His knee-jerk reaction and then further response made her stomach squirm. He was trying.

That meant she had to try too.

"I could... I could try to say it more often...?" she asked, rather distressed at the whole idea of that actually. "But I don't like saying them too often. It... makes them sound weak to me. Like an excuse."

... That possibly made sense only to her.

From:

puppy_fair

"Cheapens it?" Zack looked her way, back to smiling again, though his smile was wry at best. "Like grinning too much, or laughing when you think that's what people want to hear?"

From:

intraspective

"Sort of?" she said, frowning a bit as she wriggled her toes absently. "But it's worse when it comes to--that sort of thing. Those words ought to be more important."