Room 504, Sunday Early Early Morning

[intraspective]

Ordinarily, the whole process of waking up and getting ready for the day was a very peaceful one. They had their whole routine down: who took a shower first (Zack did, because Ino took longer), who made the bed (Ino did, while Zack was in the shower), who grabbed the tea (mostly for Ino, but Zack was the one that got it while she was in the shower), and so on until, as was another part of their usual routine, they tracked down the podcast of last night's radio and turned it on.

Ino, in shorts and a tank top (pink), was sitting with her feet dangling off the edge of her bed, brushing her hair, and a cup of tea sitting just to the side on the floor. Zack, still without a shirt at this time of the day, was doing a few squats to stretch out after sleeping.

(It was an absurdly domestic scene.)

Ordinarily the radio was cause for amusement, or they didn't pay much attention to it because they were busy talking through it about various silly or not-so-silly things. Today, though, was one of the days where they actually managed to listen to it.

… And it didn't take a genius to tell, when it was over, that Ino's mood had gone from 'peaceful and cheerful in a sleepy way' to '...sigh'.

She kept up with brushing her hair, though. That much stayed the same.

[For Zack, yo.]

Comments

[puppy_fair]

Zack's eyes stayed on her hands, and his fingers twined into hers.

"There's nothing that I can say that'll change what you think right now, is there? I wish there was, but... your mind is yours. And if you've made it up to believe that I don't care..."

Sigh.

"I just didn't think you wanted the job. That doesn't mean I don't want you there, or that I don't think you could do it. I trust you with ShinRa business, Ino. With monster hunts and haywire mechs back home. That's... bigger, to me. And it's something I figured you liked doing."

[intraspective]

Her lips trembled as she studied their hands. His were so much larger than hers. Strong enough to save a world.

Who was she kidding to say she had similar strength? No wonder people couldn't trust her.

"I know you care," she said, barely above a whisper because otherwise she was going to cry. "I just..."

How could she explain what it felt like to always be the one left behind? And how his not talking to her about this felt like a precursor of things to come. It always started small.

[puppy_fair]

"I still have some missions to do back on Gaia," he noted, trying for a smile again as he looked up a little in an attempt to catch her eyes with his. "Stuff away from Midgar, right? We've got whole continents to choose from, and you wanted to see the rocket, right?"

If she didn't want to trust his words, then he'd have to show her that he wasn't going anywhere. That was all there was to it.

[intraspective]

She, almost despite herself, let him catch her eyes. His were bluer. So much bluer.

"I did." Because she really did want to see it. And possibly take a million pictures and chatter and squee about it because it was a rocket that might wind up in space and it was new and exciting and not just something anyone took for granted. "I'm sorry."

Ino pulled away from him, this time to flop down on her bed. Looking more tired than angry now. Still upset, but it was the sort of upset that had her wanting to crawl under her blankets and hide rather than scream and yell.

[puppy_fair]

He let her go, standing there and looking back down again as he started to fiddle with the bangle he'd put on. It was that sort of quiet, halfhearted fiddling that came with an awkward situation and an inexplicable, biting sense of guilt.

"Don't be." And a shrug. My, this Cura materia was fascinating. And green. What a surprise. "I assumed that you didn't want a job, and so I offered it to somebody that I knew was interested in it. If I'd known that you had your heart set on it, I would have asked if you wanted some sort of advisor role, maybe. Something that wouldn't..." He shrugged again, helplessly. "Wouldn't make people talk. I know you don't like people talking."

[intraspective]

"Come here?" She made it a question and held out her hand. He could sit with her?

"I..." Trying to find words. "I... It's not, I don't want the job." Because Ino didn't. She was busy. Busy, in part, trying to save his world. "I just..."

... This was hard to explain and surely she sounded like a lunatic.

[puppy_fair]

Zack was totally used to people sounding like lunatics. And Ino had the added bonus of being less likely to be beaten down with a longsword than, say, Genesis was.

He made his way over, shrugged, and then flopped down on the bed beside her.

"So... I was right and you don't want the job? But... But you're upset that I didn't offer, so that you could turn it down?"

He didn't entirely get it, no. But he was starting to at least grasp the concept somewhere around the edges.

[intraspective]

It sounded even stupider when put that way.

"I would've liked to have been offered it," she said, toying with her hair and not looking at him. "Because in asking you would've been trusting me."

[puppy_fair]

Ooooh. And suddenly, it was all way too clear.

"I trust you," he said again, with the sort of conviction that he reserved for things that he was either hopelessly optimistic or thoroughly positive about. "And because I trust you, I ask you along for things that I know you want. I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to take a leadership position in the reserves just because I asked. Especially when I don't think you're interested."

He was... vaguely aware that when he asked people for something he thought of as a favor, he tended to pull out the puppyface. And who in the world could say no to the puppyface? That was way too much like cheating.

"I just try to make up for it in other places, that's all. Like training with you, or monster hunting. Or just... talking, sometimes. About things."

[intraspective]

She swallowed that lump in her throat.

"About things," Ino echoed, feeling small and stupid and useless. This was stupid. She was an idiot. This... shouldn't have mattered.

But it did. It had.

"I'm sorry." For being herself? For being insecure enough that it had felt like he just hadn't cared to ask her. For being sad, now, because surely she'd messed up somewhere.

[puppy_fair]

Zack shook his head again. No, nothing to be sorry for.

And then he leaned over and pulled her into a hug. Like it or not, Ino, you are stuck with a puppy, here.

"You're still one of my precious people, you know. But professional decisions and personal ones aren't the same thing. When it comes to the Reserves, I'm SOLDIER 1st, first. Zack second." And if she'd let him, he'd even lean in to kiss her on the cheek. "Both of those sides of me love you, Ino."

[intraspective]

She didn't struggle against the hug. Ino leaned into it, even, needing to feel the contact. It was nice. That and then he was speaking and she had something to say because she knew she was important to Zack but SOLDIER 1st was a bit more...

...

And then he said he loved her. Both sides of him loved her. And Ino's mind just sort of stuttered to a panicky little halt as her breathing hitched. She barely even noticed the kiss to her cheek. She wasn't going to cry. Wasn't.

... Or maybe she was. Just a bit. Mostly silently as she pulled her knees up to her chest and tried to hide it. It was hard to hide it when he was hugging her. She didn't even know why she was crying, not really. It hurt and she was happy and things were jumbled up confusingly.

[puppy_fair]

... Oh. Oh, he'd just made her cry, didn't he? Zack was chewing his lip now, pulling her a little closer and closing his eyes and wishing that maybe he could do something right so that he'd stop hurting people all of the time, and he wasn't letting go.

Possibly ever. Which would make running SOLDIER missions into a challenge, sure, but Zack was always up for a challenge.

[intraspective]

She shivered and cried and sniffled and really this wasn't how she'd wanted wanted to spend her morning. It felt weak. Ino didn't want to be weak. This was just... proving her point, that she was all wrong and never good enough.

"I..." Words were hard, but eventually she managed. "I... you mean that."

It wasn't really a question, all tied up with hope and fear and gut-wrenching conviction that nothing could stay the same now that he'd said those words.

[puppy_fair]

He nodded. He nodded, and pulled her a little closer, and took in a few deep breaths of his own in an attempt to fight down that twisting feeling in his guts that suggested that he'd just done something horribly wrong by being that honest.

He nodded, because even if it wasn't the right thing to say, it was the truth. And he couldn't take it back, he couldn't lie about it. Not when it meat as much as this. Maybe things wouldn't ever be the same, but if Zack didn't believe that things could get better, then there wasn't anything left in the world for Zack to believe in at all.

"I mean that."

[intraspective]

Okay. Okay. She was... just going to nod her head and lean into him, one hand resting against his chest as Ino tried to figure out what to do now.

They were only supposed to be friends, weren't they? But hadn't they been lying for a while now? Or, not lying, but having transcended past friends into... something more?

"Okay," she breathed. She could do that. She could deal. Maybe he wouldn't leave--maybe this time he'd stay? Would it hurt to stop lying?

Would it hurt to be wrong, if he left? Was it okay to be scared?

[puppy_fair]

It was okay to be scared. He was kind of terrified, himself. He was also still hanging on for dear life, and sort of staring at her, so that he could be absolutely positive that she was still there.

... Not that she'd be going anywhere any time soon with him clinging like a large leech with hedgehog hair.

"Okay?"

[intraspective]

He was a very handsome leech, really, but yes, he did make it rather impossible for her to go very far or move very much.

"Okay," she said again and that didn't really help matters. "I just... Sorry... I wasn't expecting... that."

[puppy_fair]

"I guess I'm full of surprises," he decided, closing his eyes and pulling in a slow, deep breath. See, he was not going to panic, here, in some sort of 'I said something I shouldn't have' freakout that wouldn't help anything at all. He was breathing. It was fine. "I can't take it back. I mean it. But if it's something you didn't want to hear..."

If? What if? What in the world could be possibly say, there? He wasn't sorry for saying it, either.

[intraspective]

Her fingers ghosted up to brush along his jawline, over his lips, a quick light bop to his nose, then just... resting her fingers over his lips.

"Don't take it back," she murmured, scared but firm. "If you take it back, I'll never forgive you."

Ino hadn't really planned to hear it. Hadn't really been sure she wanted to.

Never wanted him to say he hadn't meant it. Didn't want to words to go away.

[puppy_fair]

Fingers on his lips meant that he was going to have to kiss them softly before reaching up to take her hand. A smile crossed his features, less terrified, less forced than his usual fare.

It was a smile. Not the kind that he wore because he felt the need to. It was the kind that meant that he had a reason to.

"I won't take it back, then. I wouldn't ever dream of it."

[intraspective]

He could destroy every defence she had built around herself with that smile.

Ino studied his eyes, his face, curled her fingers around his hand. "Just keep meaning it," she said, "and it'll work out, right?"

She was just going to kiss him now. Because she needed to. Because she wanted to. Because he loved her.

[puppy_fair]

Zack would have said 'right,' there. Would have agreed with her, only his mouth was suddenly a little more occupied with kissing, and vocalizing was now down the the barest minimum. Mostly involving 'mm' sounds.

They were very affirmative 'mm' sounds, for what it was worth.

And, yeah, he wasn't about to stop kissing her any time soon, either.

[intraspective]

They did, eventually, have to stop. If only for breathing issues and Ino was possibly just going to snuggle against him (and his bare chest, mmm) forever.

"I guess," Ino said, tracing her fingers down his chest. "We're going to... we can't just... we're still comfortable."

But that wasn't quite the right word for them, was it?

[puppy_fair]

"Comfortable," Zack echoed, smiling a little more and nuzzling right on in. "It is comfortable. And... I can't speak for you... but..."

He shrugged. The feel of her fingers over his skin was making the little hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

"I'd say it fits."