Caelum A3, Monday Morning

[intraspective]

She slipped into the cabin just after dawn, having stayed out--again--all night. She was moving stiffly, her fault for spending the night not moving after Temari had left her even when it rained intermittently on her and her bruises making their low opinion of this move known. Ino hadn’t bothered to heal any of the bruises. They served her right.

At least she’d had the presence of mind to have a shower before coming back? Ino wiggled into the softest set of pyjamas as quietly as she could, and curled up, sitting up, in her bed, back to the wall and blanket pulled over her head.

Yesterday had been stupid. She’d been stupid. What was the point in trying to think if you lost it the first time all that thinking was really challenged?

What was wrong with her? Even with Temari being so much stronger than her she should’ve done better. Instead, it had been a total fiasco.

Ino fought the urge to cry, trying not to sniffle, and that had to be the exhaustion talking. She wasn’t going to cry. That wasn’t useful.

What was she supposed to do? Where had she started messing up? Being stupid. It had to stop, and she didn’t know why it had started.

[Open, yes!]

Comments

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it wasn't done, but he knew where her bunk was and he had a promise to fulfill.

He also had flower seeds to deliver.

The latter was clutched in one hand, the flower sample held between two fingers, and he both couldn't wait to see Ino and desperately hoped that she'd like what he'd brought.

"Ino?"

He waited just outside her alcove.

[intraspective]

Ino blinked, quickly swiping at her eyes, and forcing a smile on her face. No need to worry him about her problems. "You can come in, Liir."

And she forced herself to sit up straighter, tugging her blanket tight.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I told you I'd be back."

No matter what.

He pulled the curtain aside just enough to slip in. He lifted his head to smile at her but something... something was off here. He didn't know what, but he was still recovering from his little episode with Shell and he knew that whatever it was, it was probably valid.

"Are you all right?" he asked before even pulling the flower and the seeds from behind him.

[intraspective]

"I know," Ino said, but it was hard to tell who would come back even if they said so. "I'm glad."

As to his second question she tried a shrug, only to have to stop and smooth away a wince as the movement pulled at her bruises. "I've been better," she said honestly, "but I'm still me. What about you?"

If she could only figure out what was going on with her, now that would help more. She was herself, but herself was someone that if she stopped and thought about it... herself was someone she wasn't recognizing so well lately.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"You're hurt."

He sounded a strange mix of surprised, confused, worried, and positively murderous. His mother had pioneered the blend and it was what he'd usually gotten whenever he scrapped himself up or fell prey to one of Manek's tricks.

He pulled the flower and the seeds out from behind him, the items forgotten until he realized he had to put them down to reach out to her.

"I'm..." and he moved towards the bed, "an idiot, as per usual. What happened?"

[intraspective]

Yes, yes she was. Ino tugged at her bangs, considering how to answer that. "I was stupid," she said, "and how're you an idiot?"

And because distractions were a good thing, "You got me a flower?" Ino leaned to look at it.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I got you the seeds for the flower," he said, picking them up again and holding them out mechanically towards her. "The bloom shifts in color usually, but only when it's a living plant, not as a cut piece, so you'll have to wait to see that effect. How were you stupid?"

She might notice a few marks on his wrists, as if from rope. They were small and almost gone, but they were visible with the shirt he wore.

[intraspective]

"Stupid enough to get hit with a giant metal fan." Which, really, was quite stupid.

"It's beautiful, thank you," she told him, taking the seeds, and the flower, holding it gently and then noticed the marks on his wrist. "What happened to you?" she asked, peering at the marks.

She'd question him more about the flowers later.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He paused for a moment.

"This weekend wasn't a particularly good showing for either of us, was it?" he started before nodding to the bed. Could he sit?

"But why haven't you gone down to the clinic? I'll answer your question when you answer mine and yes, I get my answer first since it has to do with you being in pain."

[intraspective]

She wiggled her hand at him, reaching out to tug him onto her bed. Of course he could sit!

Ino looked mutinous. "Because I could heal them myself." She just didn't want to. They served as a good reminder of how stupid she'd been.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"And you haven't why?" he asked pointedly.

But he did sit down on the bed and offered an arm if she wasn't too sore to take it.

[intraspective]

"Because I was stupid," she said, as if that was obvious, and wiggled--rather carefully, though she still winced--over to lean against him.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Might I remind you that you found me in a similar state and gave me rather a stern talking to?"

[intraspective]

"Not the same," she insisted. "I didn't do it to myself."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I didn't do it to myself either. At least, not on purpose," he said. "And it seems very similar to me."

[intraspective]

"Your's was a distraction," she insisted. "Mine's a reminder."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Mine was both," he said. "Not distraction but redirection. And why do you need a reminder? As I remember you saying, dwelling on past mistakes is the worst thing to do."

[intraspective]

"Because I keep being stupid," she said, "even though I tried training, and thinking, and it keeps happening anyway. So I'm keeping these bruises so maybe it'll sink in that way."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Then perhaps you need to consider the source of the stupidity instead of just letting yourself be in pain," he said plainly, not a trace of anything to his tone. Entirely noncommittal.

"What's changed recently that you've started to be stupid more often?"

[intraspective]

She shrugged, then winced. "I don't know."

Not that she was bitter about that, or anything. "But I'm not acting... how I should be acting."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Don't you think sitting down and examining something like that would be more productive than sitting there in pain?

"It's also more likely to bring results. If you're not acting how you should be acting? And for that matter... how are you acting incorrectly?"

[intraspective]

"I think better in pain," she said, knowing that sounded ridiculous. "I learn too slowly the other way."

Ino tugged at her bangs, wanting to shrug but refraining. "I've been being stupid."

Yeah, Ino wasn't being so useful today.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"So far I've heard 'stupid' being thrown around. How, Ino? Inexactness helps no one."

No, he wasn't letting her go on this issue.

[intraspective]

She shrugged, and winced, and said nothing. Just staring at her hands.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He breathed out slowly before settling a little closer to her.

"I was tied to a chair. And then, quite possibly, I saved all of Oz. But only if you consider not fucking it up worse 'saving' it."