Caelum A3, Monday Morning

[intraspective]

She slipped into the cabin just after dawn, having stayed out--again--all night. She was moving stiffly, her fault for spending the night not moving after Temari had left her even when it rained intermittently on her and her bruises making their low opinion of this move known. Ino hadn’t bothered to heal any of the bruises. They served her right.

At least she’d had the presence of mind to have a shower before coming back? Ino wiggled into the softest set of pyjamas as quietly as she could, and curled up, sitting up, in her bed, back to the wall and blanket pulled over her head.

Yesterday had been stupid. She’d been stupid. What was the point in trying to think if you lost it the first time all that thinking was really challenged?

What was wrong with her? Even with Temari being so much stronger than her she should’ve done better. Instead, it had been a total fiasco.

Ino fought the urge to cry, trying not to sniffle, and that had to be the exhaustion talking. She wasn’t going to cry. That wasn’t useful.

What was she supposed to do? Where had she started messing up? Being stupid. It had to stop, and she didn’t know why it had started.

[Open, yes!]

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[intraspective]

"Not the same," she insisted. "I didn't do it to myself."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I didn't do it to myself either. At least, not on purpose," he said. "And it seems very similar to me."

[intraspective]

"Your's was a distraction," she insisted. "Mine's a reminder."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Mine was both," he said. "Not distraction but redirection. And why do you need a reminder? As I remember you saying, dwelling on past mistakes is the worst thing to do."

[intraspective]

"Because I keep being stupid," she said, "even though I tried training, and thinking, and it keeps happening anyway. So I'm keeping these bruises so maybe it'll sink in that way."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Then perhaps you need to consider the source of the stupidity instead of just letting yourself be in pain," he said plainly, not a trace of anything to his tone. Entirely noncommittal.

"What's changed recently that you've started to be stupid more often?"

[intraspective]

She shrugged, then winced. "I don't know."

Not that she was bitter about that, or anything. "But I'm not acting... how I should be acting."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Don't you think sitting down and examining something like that would be more productive than sitting there in pain?

"It's also more likely to bring results. If you're not acting how you should be acting? And for that matter... how are you acting incorrectly?"

[intraspective]

"I think better in pain," she said, knowing that sounded ridiculous. "I learn too slowly the other way."

Ino tugged at her bangs, wanting to shrug but refraining. "I've been being stupid."

Yeah, Ino wasn't being so useful today.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"So far I've heard 'stupid' being thrown around. How, Ino? Inexactness helps no one."

No, he wasn't letting her go on this issue.

[intraspective]

She shrugged, and winced, and said nothing. Just staring at her hands.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He breathed out slowly before settling a little closer to her.

"I was tied to a chair. And then, quite possibly, I saved all of Oz. But only if you consider not fucking it up worse 'saving' it."

[intraspective]

She tilted her head at that, obviously interested, but still not looking up. Ino glanced side-long at his wrists, and frowned.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Shell. He wanted me to learn things about the future of Oz from Professor Ambrose. And pass weapons and machines from this and other worlds represented here to him. And be his little pet project to look good in the public eye. In exchange, he would have taken me in as family, placed me in the university in Shiz, and more than likely have provided an excellent government position with advancement opportunities."

He settled against a wall carefully and hung one arm over his knee.

"I told him to no."

[intraspective]

The faint marks on his wrist were bugging her and, without even really thinking about it she concentrated her chakra to her hand, green healing chakra, and glanced at him. His choice; yes or no?

But she wanted to do it.

"Why?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He shrugged and held up his wrists, but gave a meaningful look at her that she should perhaps use some of that on herself.

"Because it would have been a betrayal of everyone's trust. And because it would have been like helping a second Wizard come to power.

"He's everything my mother stood against. And everything my father died from.

"And in much more practical terms, I can't trust him even as far as I would throw him and the idea of helping him made me sick to my stomach when I really considered it. He's beyond slimey."

[intraspective]

She ignored his look, and gently reached out to hold her glowing hands over his wrists. It didn't take her that long to heal them, a combination of practise and the fact that they were only minor marks in the first place.

When that was done she let the chakra glow fade and tucked her arms in close around her again.

"What did he do when you said no?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Said he would flog the one person who'd been nice to me and torture me to get out what I already knew."

Said matter of fact, mostly because it was over. He hadn't felt too much at the time, of course, because he'd been trying to digest everything, but he supposed he could call that bravery in a pinch. It felt nicer and sounded much better.

"He went on a little bit further but it doesn't really matter."

He threatened you. And Andrew. And Karal. And Miss Lulu. And everyone else here.

[intraspective]

She turned that over in her head, feeling angry, but the anger was flat because she couldn't think of anything she could do, and more than willing to focus on his issues than on hers. "Why doesn't it matter?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Because I'm here," he said with a faint smile. "And I got away."

And I'll know to be more careful now.

[intraspective]

She leaned carefully against him, closing her eyes. "How?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Does it matter?" he asked quietly, because he was still sore in ways it was hard to explain and no matter how it'd been a sick sort of justice, he hadn't liked doing it.

[intraspective]

Ino considered that.

"It is if it hurt you," she said eventually.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"No more than when I did it the last time," he said with a faint almost nonexistent shrug. "I'm not exactly hurt so much as a bit raw now. And the rope could have been much worse; Trism was as gentle as would be allowed."

[intraspective]

"I didn't mean your wrists," she said, somewhat tartly.