intraspective | ??????????, Gaia, Wednesday Late Afternoon

She was never, ever taking any portal that had stopovers ever again. Sure, their hosts had been great, she now played one hell of a mean game of croquet (it would have been two-time world champion except Reno had stolen one title from her on a technicality, damn him), but really, all being stuck in croquet hell for three years the local time had done was kill any momentum she'd had for saving the world.

Iris still came out of the portal swinging her mallet, just in case. (Look, before croquet hell there had been some much less friendly worlds out there and old habits died really hard.)

Nothing attacked her, though she did startle a man feeding his chickens as she stepped out into his yard. Ignoring his yelp, she glanced around their surroundings, her mind reaching out to judge any potential threats.

"Oh thank fuck," she said cheerfully. "We're someplace peaceful. I demand a shower!"

Sure, they'd have to figure out where and what reality they were in. But this was a start.

[For that title-stealing guy!

NOTE: The second thread has talk of torture, actual murder, torture, and blowing up a building in it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ah, hell yeah," Reno said, leaning his head back and peering up to the sky. His phone had lost a charge and refused to play nicely for him for... about two years now. Had to get that replaced, right along with his EMR. Mental note.

In the meantime, hey, he wielded a mean croquet mallet.

"Ah, hell yeah," he said a moment later. "First thing I'm doin' is gettin' a frickin' shave, yo."

They could worry about whether they were even in the right world after their phones were charged again.

But, really, if time had passed the same way here that it had for them, Gaia was probably screwed already. Their priorities were good and sound.

And she desperately wanted a shower, new clothes, and food before she went looking for a way to charge her phone and figure out what the hell was going on.

"You," she said pleasantly, but pointing her mallet at the man who was gaping at him. "Where's the nearest excellent hotel?"

The man stammered his answer, picked up a chicken, and fled.

Iris glanced up at Reno, grinning. "Shall we?"

"Hell yeah," Reno agreed, looking toward what looked to be town, frowning thoughtfully. There was something familiar about that place, though he'd have to get closer to put a finger on it anyway. "There'll be a hotel there, wherever we landed, yo. We can do the shit, shave, an' shower thing, get a meal into us that ain't gummy candy, sleep for a friggin' week-" sorry, Gaia, the priorities got shuffled a bit in transit, "-and then make sure we're in the right place, right time."

"Let's go," she said, hopping the fence casually. "But, seriously, you tellin' me you're tired of gummy candy? The shame, the horror, imagine the headlines…"

Iris was never eating another gummy candy herself, but she wasn't going to say that.

"If I never see a friggin jujube again, it'll be too soon," Reno informed her, rolling his eyes and hopping the fence just as easily. "I wanna goddamn steak, yo. Hell, I'll eat a handful of gysahl greens, that's still a step up."

Anything. But. Candy.

"I'll lower myself to a potato chip at this point," Iris admitted. "Something salty, at least. I don't even want a hot chocolate and that's just tragic."

"Ugh, chocolate." Reno shook his head as he made his way toward town.

And squinted toward town.

"Huh," he grunted, mostly to himself. "Watertower."

"Yeah, that's a watertower," Iris said, keeping pace with him. "What, you recognize it?"

She didn't.

Though she was going to level a longer look at it, just in case.

"Yeah," Reno said, squinting up at it. "Yeah, I think I do."

His pace picked up slightly as he led her onward. If this was where he thought it was, Iris wasn't gonna like it.

"We're gonna spend the night at the inn. Then I'm gonna tell you where we are."

Then she could kick his ass or whatever.

Edited 2019-04-10 23:14 (UTC)

"'Cause that ain't ominous at all," Iris muttered, shaking her head and then picking up her own pace. She had to work a bit harder to keep up with him, since his stride was longer. "But, you know what, I don't even care today."

The lure of a shower was way, way stronger than a mystery she wasn't going to like much.

"I ain't even gonna pry into other minds 'bout it--'less you think there's a real threat?"

"Nah. If we are where I think we are, this is our turf anyway."

Reno shrugged and walked into town, heading his way straight to the inn.

He might have kicked a fencepost on the way.

"Two rooms? Ain't like we don't got money. Or we can be chatty teenage girls an' spend all night gossipin' after we get all prettied up, yo."

"Fuck yeah, Gaia!"

Shit, it had be forever.

"I ain't sayin' it's the last few years that make my first thought go 'but what would the tabloids think' but it's totally the last few years that do that."

Iris considered that.

"S'up to you, I guess. I don't care."

Reno considered that for a moment.

Couldn't help but glance toward the large manor on the outskirts of town.

"Yeah," he said, after that pause was through. "Yeah, I could use the company, yo."

"You're bein' 'bout as subtle as a brick," she groused, bopping her mallet in his direction, but stopping short of hitting him. "And makin' me terrible curious, wretch."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a friggin' asshole that way," Reno replied, rolling his eyes toward the sky. "If we're in the right place, it's fine, we'll get our sleep and get started in the morning, yo. If we ain't... hell. I dunno. We'll need the rest either way."

He shrugged, and then waved a hand at a kid wandering by.

"Hey, you. Yeaaah, you. What day is it, kid?"

The young boy blinked at him, stared at the scruffy pair in ShinRa uniforms, squeaked out the date, and then scampered off.

Reno blinked. And then gave a slow nod.

Good to know.

"Anyway," he drawled. "Beauty sleep."

"But we're being pretty, pretty princesses first," Iris said, determined to be at least cheerful enough to enjoy that. "Because you ain't takin' that away from me after the times we've had."

A beat.

"Especially not on your birthday."

Thanks, kid. That was amazing news.

SIGH.

Well, shit, okay.

"An' that's why I'm leavin' all the rest of the bullshit until morning," Reno replied easily. "Princesses first, yo. We're gettin' a cake in honor of me at the inn."

He liked being a princess, shut up.

"Can it be a pie instead?" she asked playfully. "A pizza pie 'cause that ain't a sweet."

Though they could get a cake and drop it on some poor sucker.

Cake projectiles?

Reno considered that for a few seconds.

"Put a candle in it and sing me a song, an' I'll call it good, yo."

"Just one candle?" she teased. "Tryin' to minimize your age, old man?"

"Tryin' to avoid bein' a fire hazard, Rookie," Reno countered, smirking.

"Is that my cue to say 'too late, you're already smokin' hot?'" she wondered. "'Cause I ain't admitting to that now that we ain't got the tabloids to worry 'bout."

"An' I didn't hear a word," Reno promised, smirking. "C'mon, we'll order pizza an' do each other's nails, then, yo."

??????????, Gaia, Wednesday Late Afternoon

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject