intraspective | ??????????, Gaia, Wednesday Late Afternoon

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??????????, Gaia, Wednesday Late Afternoon

She was never, ever taking any portal that had stopovers ever again. Sure, their hosts had been great, she now played one hell of a mean game of croquet (it would have been two-time world champion except Reno had stolen one title from her on a technicality, damn him), but really, all being stuck in croquet hell for three years the local time had done was kill any momentum she'd had for saving the world.

Iris still came out of the portal swinging her mallet, just in case. (Look, before croquet hell there had been some much less friendly worlds out there and old habits died really hard.)

Nothing attacked her, though she did startle a man feeding his chickens as she stepped out into his yard. Ignoring his yelp, she glanced around their surroundings, her mind reaching out to judge any potential threats.

"Oh thank fuck," she said cheerfully. "We're someplace peaceful. I demand a shower!"

Sure, they'd have to figure out where and what reality they were in. But this was a start.

[For that title-stealing guy!

NOTE: The second thread has talk of torture, actual murder, torture, and blowing up a building in it.]

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Maybe nothing. Maybe they'd just create a new reality, a new possibility. Somewhere else, in another time at the same time, Zack was looking for Iris, after all.

Reno was ever so casually lighting up a smoke as they approached the mansion's front door. Tried the handle. Locked, of course.

Swiped his keycard.

Turk access. Ha.

Heh.

"That's convenient," Iris said, smirking faintly. "And the place ain't deserted, though it ain't fully occupied either."

Just a heads up.

"Wouldn't be empty," Reno agreed with a sigh. "There's always at least one in there, though we ain't likely to see him any time soon. If it's someone up an' about, my money's on Hojo and his assistants. We can ice 'em. The world won't miss 'em."

At all.

Even a little bit.

"You know," she said, some life coming back to her eyes as amusement sparked, "do you remember that costume we used to mangle?"

Iris. Iris, no.

Reno barked a little laugh at that.

"What, Smoochy? What, you thinkin' we should Smoochy Hojo?"

Reno would be up for giving Hojo the ol' Smoochy treatment.

Which was horrifying.

"It'd be fun."

And absolutely terrible. In so, so many ways.

"We could even warn 'im, with one hangin' on a tree if we've got a day or so to spare. Like we always did with Tyler-sensei."

Only Smoochy had never been more than just a joke with him. For Hojo, it would be for real.

Reno gave a wistful sigh.

"Ah, memories."

A pause.

"You got a Smoochy hidden away in your back of tricks?"

"I might," Iris mused, giving that thought. "Actually, I think I do. They were on sale and I was feelin' nostalgic."

And it wasn't like she spent her money on much else.

SO.

"... This is the best use of a Smoochy costume I ever saw," Reno decided. "Bust it out, Rookie. I gotta see this."

"It ain't like you never seen Smoochy before," Iris said, but sure, she was going to go digging through her pockets now.

A beat.

"If we get caught on the front step with a Smoochy costume I'm going to laugh forever."

And—

"I told you!" She held it up. And grinned.

It… it was not a nice grin, but Reno knew her not-so-nice bits, so that was fine.

For what it was worth, Reno's answering grin wasn't so friendly, either.

"I vote," he mused, "instead of leavin' this as a warning, we stuff him in it when we do the job."

What was a little humiliation and torture between coworkers, right?

In their malice, there were times when they were extremely well matched.

One of her eyebrows went up speculatively.

"I like it," she decided, "though we'll need to get a selfie to send to Tseng."

Any Tseng. All Tseng.

It was too good to not.

"See, I was thinkin' video," Reno mused, "but a selfie's more casual. I like it."

Her laughter bubbled out of her.

"We can do video too," Iris said. "Ain't no reason we can't do both and send him the selfie first, yeah?"

"See, Rookie, I like the way you think," Reno purred. "Selfie first, get our reactions outta 'em," because of course they would send this to Every Tseng, "and then send in our video with the report, yo."

All the Tsengs. It was going to be great.

"Our texted report," she reminded him, because that bore repeating. This Tseng had made so many mistakes, really, and he was going to regret all of them.

And maybe admire their artistic abilities.

"Let's get inside, take this place over, then have some fun, yeah?"

"Hell. Yes."

Reno didn't need to be told twice. He grinned, lit his cigarette, and then all that was left of him in the doorway was a slight breeze headed in the direction he'd gone.

Iris took a moment longer, stuffing Smoochy back in her pockets, and then casting a glance behind her.

She smiled—a fey, wicked thing—then blew a kiss at their watchers.

As she disappeared into the mansion, she stole their memories of watching them, and let the door shut and lock in her wake.

"Most activity is in the basement," she breathed, upon finding Reno. "Start from the top?"

"Start from the top," Reno agreed. "Most important shit is the library. Anything we can destroy from there is just icing, yo."

"And we wouldn't want to be interrupted," she said, grinning up at him. "You go left, I go right? Ain't nothing on the top levels that should need us both to take on."

Telepathy was so nice that way.

"Works for me, yo. We meet back in the middle." Reno flicked some ash onto the floor. "When I'm done my smoke. Go."

Leaving Reno behind to smoke, Iris drifted off to explore her half of the building. It was a nice building, if she didn’t think too hard about what had been (would be) done to Zack if they didn’t do this, ruin everything.

Of course, since she couldn’t help thinking about Zack, it meant that the first person she encountered (having a smoke, funnily enough, by one of the windows) died a painful death as one of her poisons froze his muscles and he asphyxiated under her cold, empty eyes.

She loved Reno, and trusted him, so her temper hadn’t been taken out on him. But Iris had a terrible temper and, for the first time, a chance to hurt those who’d hurt Zack.

There weren’t many people on her side of the building--more the pity--but each of them (two scientists, a handful of guards) died in excruciating pain and completely silently, with her watching them.

When she wasn’t murdering people, she had a much better time rifling through drawers and cabinets, looking for secrets, and finding a few. Some of the science went over her head (Iris was very, very good at botany and at putting people back together; this was not that) but she read it all anyway, steadily making her way back towards the center of it all.

Reno's cigarette didn't last long.

That hardly mattered. Reno was fast. Much like Iris, he swept through the rooms of the building, navigating it like he owned the place. He'd been here before, this building that had never seen the likes of him, he knew these corridors and these rooms well enough. A shelf full of books in a bedroom upstairs. Drivel, mostly. A few journals belonging to some scientists who worked here, but no information so sensitive that it would set anybody off.

That would come later. Personal accounts of the years to follow, of them telling a Turk with a ponytail to back the hell off and stop asking after their test subjects.

Reno spat and stubbed his smoke out on one of those diaries.

And then he killed the shit out of the man who rounded the corner to see who was going through his room.

A few minutes later, using the cuff of his sleeve to wipe the crimson splatter from his cheek, he, too, made his way back to meet Iris.

By the time she made it back to their meeting place, Iris felt… not good, but better. Satisfied in a way that reminded her that, really, the Turks had been just about the only option a world like this had held for her.

She sat on one of the side tables, absently braiding, unbraiding, and then rebraiding her hair with her chakra as she looked to see who else was in the building.

And contemplated just what they were going to do next.

That also helped her mood.

Reno regarded her thoughtfully as he came down the stairs, a little, exhilarated smirk on his lips.

"Get everything interesting, there?" He nodded toward another set of stairs. "Figure it's time to go do the deed? Get this over with?"

Maybe enjoy themselves while they did so? There was no small amount of resentment between them for their own respective present days, after all.

??????????, Gaia, Wednesday Late Afternoon

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